Fox News Reminds Viewers That Santa Was A White Supremacist
December 28, 2016
“Santa is what he is, and what he is is a white supremacist. There is no room for debate.”
College Student Eager To Show Home Friends New, Vastly Improved Self After Four Months Away
December 18, 2016
“I don’t even know if they’ll recognize me. My hair is a little longer, my face less child-like, I’ve experienced life."
Ohio Bans Menstruation
December 16, 2016
“Menstruation may not stop a beating heart, but it doesn’t start one either.”
New HGTV Show “Fixes-Up” Gay Couples, Turns Them Into Miserable Straight Ones
December 10, 2016
"Home improvement is great, but America could deal with a little more homo-improvement, don't you think?"
Carnival Cruises Announces Cruise Ship That Doesn’t Move, Spans Entire Length Between Florida And Cuba
October 24, 2016
The Carnival Grande Bonita contains over fifteen all you can eat buffets, eighteen pizzerias, and seven hundred and fifty five casinos.
Study Shows Hiding Drugs In Halloween Candy No Longer Economically Viable For Most Americans
October 18, 2016
“Those drugs are staying in my house, for my family."
Trump’s Sexual Assault Comments Likely Inexcusable Because He’s Not A Varsity Athlete
October 12, 2016
“Trump’s comments are absolutely, quite simply, despicable. He’s neither fast nor strong enough to get away with such disgusting slander.”