Bill O’Reilly Outraged He’s Being Treated Like a Common Woman

Bill O’Reilly Outraged He’s Being Treated Like a Common Woman

“I was their most loyal and hardworking employee and they dismissed me like some feminist complaining about equal pay,” he said.
Bored Employee Considers Actually Doing His Job

Bored Employee Considers Actually Doing His Job

“Budget spreadsheets are sounding pretty good right now, although I can’t remember if doing them is part of my job or not.”
Relax, We’ve Got 11 Months Until We Have to Start Thinking About Black People Again

Relax, We’ve Got 11 Months Until We Have to Start Thinking About Black People Again

Well my fellow Americans-who-don’t-need-a-hyphen-to-define-us, another successful Black History Month has come and gone.
Zoo Declines To Name Newborn Panda, Doesn’t Want To Get “Too Attached”

Zoo Declines To Name Newborn Panda, Doesn’t Want To Get “Too Attached”

“Do you know how hard it is to keep these animals alive? Slaughterhouses have a better track record than we do."
Florida Grandma Reports No New Developments In Her Neighbor’s Marital Problems

Florida Grandma Reports No New Developments In Her Neighbor’s Marital Problems

The 72-year-old retired teacher has been dedicatedly following this story since it first broke two months ago.