Chance Of Finding Cough Drop In Purse Dies Along With Mother
January 10, 2017
“It’s not even just the cough drops that I’ll miss...those tiny pouches of tissues that I grew up are probably gone forever, too."
Artisanal Cheese Blogger Outraged To Learn ‘Fucking Hipsters’ Moving Into Neighborhood
January 7, 2017
Queens resident and cheese blogger Derek Brady expressed outrage upon witnessing “a million fucking hipsters” moving into his neighborhood.
8 New Year’s Resolutions That My Probation Officer Strongly Recommends I Adhere To
December 31, 2016
I have a feeling that 2017 is going to be my best year for keeping resolutions yet, thanks to the watchful eye of the state of New York!
8 Simple Lifehacks For Merely Tolerating Your Friend’s Kid
December 24, 2016
Because she can't make you love it, no matter how many times it tells you it loves you.
College Grad Crams For Most Important Test In Life Upon Learning Of Company Urine Analysis Policy
December 20, 2016
"They waited until the second interview to tell me they drug test? This is such bullshit. I'm going to be up all night preparing.”
Report: 100% Of Tips To Help You Sleep Nowhere Near As Effective As Xanax
December 13, 2016
“I hope this news somehow makes it illegal for my doctor to keep asking about my ‘lifestyle’ choices,” one participant added.
Parents With No Sense Of Boundaries Credit Long Marriage To “Nobel Prize In Sexual Chemistry”
November 26, 2016
His father then proceeded to "honk" an imaginary pair of boobs in the air in front of him.