How she would have died: A bad batch of collagen causes her lips to become gangrenous, puss filled sacks depriving Kylie of her best asset and driving the young model to suicide.
Who we would trade her for: Patty Duke
How he would have died: After renting "Jack and Jill" from a local Redbox, a lifelong Sandler fan decides to put the actor out of his misery with two .44 Magnum rounds to the face outside of a Wendy’s in Manchester NH. The media calls it a mercy killing.
Who we would trade him for: Gary Shandling
How she would have died: A disgruntled PA on "Girls" snaps uses a copy of "Not That Kind Of Girl" to cave in Dunham’s skull.
Who we would trade her for: Carrie Fisher
How he would have died: After drinking a cocktail comprised of over 50 roofies and a splash of club soda, Cosby falls into a coma and is put in the hospital on life support until a visiting Malcolm Jamal Warner accidentally pulls his plug when looking for a place to charge his phone.
Who we would trade him for: Gene Wilder
How he should have died: While on a trip to the Great White north to visit family, the Canadian pop-star is disemboweled by a pack of rabid Moose causing his dangling entrails to molest the the newly fallen snow with their scarlet drippings.
Who we would trade him for: Prince
How she would have died: During a real life Hunger Games, a feral Jennifer Lawrence slices Anne's throat open with a shiv made out of a broken iPhone and duct tape. J-Law then kneels in front of the quickly fading "Princess Diaries" star and bathes in the blood still pumping out of her jugular, content in the knowledge that she is now truly Best Actress.
Who we would trade her for: Doris Roberts
How he would have died: During an encore of “Welcome to the Jungle” Rose suffers a stroke during the “junanananananananananana knees” part of the song. Mercifully by the time anyone notices, it’s too late.
Who we would trade him for: Glen Frey
The Cast Of The Big Bang Theory
How they should have died: The whole cast asphyxiates after Neil Degrasse Tyson seals off all openings in the studio where the show is filmed save for a small hole which he uses to pump in the exhaust from his running car.
Who we would trade them for: Alan Rickman
How she would have died: GAH BENGHAZI SHOULD HAVE KILLED HER WITH EMAILS RAAAAARGHHH!
Who we would trade her for: John Glenn
How he would have died: West breaks his neck while attempting to fellate himself causing instant paralysis. The rapper than proceeds to suffocate on his own penis, unable to move his head enough to dislodge it from his windpipe.
Who we would trade him for: Muhammad Ali
How he would have died: Shelton’s jilted ex-wife Miranda Lambert sneaks into the bedroom that he now shares with Gwen Stefani and stabs the country music star 47 times with his People’s Choice Award.
Who we would trade him for: Merle Haggard
How she would have died: Gets knocked up with yet ANOTHER child out of wedlock and dies in childbirth.
Who we would trade her for: Zsa Zsa Gabor
How he should have died: After Durst threatens to release a new Limp Bizkit album, his mother Anita decides to get the abortion she should have gotten 46 years ago and pierces the Nookie singer’s heart with a wire coat-hanger.
Who we would trade him for: George Michael
How she would have died: Choking on her own goop.
Who we would trade her for: Robert Vaughn
How she should have died: It turns out that all of those pictures of Miley with her tongue sticking out were the result of an unseen brain parasite that Cyrus picked up from craft services on Hannah Montana. After six years of slowly chewing away at Miley's gray matter, the parasite finally succeeded in eating through the singer’s cerebral cortex, leaving Cyrus to spend her last moments spasming ito the beat of "Party In The USA."
Who we would trade her for: Alexis Arquette
How he would have died: Hit by a car while trying to photograph the wind.
Who we would trade him for: Leonard Cohen
How she would have died: While appearing at an Anti Vaccination rally as the guest of honor, McCarthy contracts a rare combination of Tuberculosis and Measles causing the Singled Out star to breakout in searing blisters while simultaneously choking on the blood filling her lungs.
Who we would trade her for: Chyna
How he would have died: During the filming of Paul Blart 3, James falls off of his segway and hits his head so hard that he immediately vomits right before dying from the resulting swelling of his brain.
Who we would trade him for: Kevin Meaney
How she would have died: After years of biting her lower lip, Stewart develops mouth cancer which proceeds to eat away at her face until her vacant stare can’t support it’s own weight and her whole head collapses in upon itself proving once and for all that nature really does abhor a vacuum.
Who we would trade her for: Kenny Baker
How she should have died: Kim drops her phone onto her face during a particularly challenging selfie, shattering her nose and causing her detached septum to travel up her sinus cavity and into her brain.
Who we would trade her for: Dealer's choice
How he would have died: While campaigning for Donald Trump, Rock helps to make america great again by running his Camaro off the road while trying to juggle puffing a Winston and drinking a 40 at the same time.
Who we would trade for him: Sir George Martin
How she would have died: Years of hard partying have left Lohan immune to all conventional drugs, reducing her to smoking a mixture of Drano and asbestos in order to feel anything. Unfortunately the concoction erodes Lohan’s intestines so much that when the "Mean Girls" star sits on the toilet to pass what she assumes is a routine miscarriage, she actually shits out her entire digestive system.
Who we would trade her for: Jon Polito
How they would have died: While going over a bridge on the way to a gig, the driver on the band’s tour bus has a moment of clarity and realizes that he could do the whole world a favor with one hard turn to the left.
Who we would trade them for: David Bowie
How she would have died: The singer would have perished in the explosion caused by the bomb she planted in Times Square on New Year's eve.
Who we would trade her for: Frank Sinatra Jr.
How he would have died: Tucker makes one condescending remark too many and becomes first Fox News anchor to be strangled to death on live TV.
Who we would trade him for: Morley Safer
How she would have died: Minaj starts twerking a little too enthusiastically on the set of her new video and ends up with a broken rib which floats up through her abdomen and punctures her left lung causing it to fill with fluid and drown the Anaconda singer.
Who we would trade her for: Keith Emerson
How he would have died: In an attempt to keep up with a girlfriend nearly half his age, Thicke accidentally takes too many Viagra and suffers a massive coronary, causing the "Blurred Lines" singer to die how he lived - with a raging boner and a broken heart.
Who we would trade him for: His dad Alan Thicke
Susan Olsen (Cindy Brady)
How she would have died: The former Brady Bunch star is found dead from blunt force trauma on her apartment floor next to a blood covered rainbow dildo.
Who we wold trade her for: A better Brady, Florence Henderson
How he would have died: A crazed fan kidnaps Shia and forces him to watch Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull in it’s entirety causing Labeouf's face to melt and drip from his skull like candle wax.
Who we would trade him for: Anton Yelchin
How she would have died: A spurned ex replaces Taylor's hair Bleach with sulfuric acid causing the singer to suffer through an agonizing pain she can't shake off without causing her slowly dissolving flesh to slough off her bones.
Who we would trade her for: Debbie Reynolds
How he would have died: Cruise finally takes his love of Scientology too far by grinding the remains of L. Ron Hubbard into a fine powder and snorting it through a rolled up twenty dollar bill. Tom immediately goes into convulsions and chokes on his own tongue.
Who we would trade him for: David Huddleston
How he would have died: Snyder insists on making the Justice League set so dark that no one can see what they are doing including Snyder who trips over his DP and impales himself on Aquaman’s trident.
Who we would trade him for: Michael Cimino