Amazon is one of the most convenient websites on the internet. You can purchase virtually anything at the click of a button without even getting dressed. It’s not all cheap blu-rays and bulk toilet paper though. We scoured the deepest, darkest depths of Amazon to bring you thirty truly awful products you can currently buy:
Don’t you hate it when you go to a family gathering and there’s not enough lube to go around for everyone? Problem solved.
This wonderfully inviting torture cage for cats will show your feline friends who is the boss.
This cookie cutter can make rainbow shaped cookies and provide subtle hints to your significant other to see a doctor about his erectile dysfunction.
Diseases Caused by Masturbation: a great book for light bedtime reading.
Stick your dog in this vacuum bag and watch the pure feeling of shame wash over its body.
Because your dog is sick of you stretching out his hoodies when you go clubbing.
Are you sick of pooping in the dark and wiping your ass with the bath mat? You’ll always know the location of your TP when it glows.
Why stop at the vagina? Put some on your dog and make a forever puppy.
This is PURE coyote urine, not that weak synthetic shit you get off the streets.
It’s a proven fact the only thing kids like more than candy and toys are plagues.
For those all too common occasions when only your nose goes outside.
We can’t tell if it comes with a “Please come back it was a silly joke I’m really sorry I thought you would think it was funny!” button.
Because your burger ain’t shit unless it has grill marks in the shape of Dale Jr.’s 88 logo on them.
We’re not sure what this contraption is training your eyelids to do, but we support it.
Shadow the Skeleton Dog: Delivered from your nightmares to your living room in a few short days!
A great knife for everyday tasks, such as slitting your wrists if you actually buy this.
This is great if you have a hard time expressing to people that you are an actual maniac with serious problems.
If you’re getting sick of painting regular good inflatable cat unicorn horns black to make them evil, we got you covered.
This looks like a completely rational product.
Whether this is a cheap alternative to GoPro is debatable, but what we really want to know is if the fake mustache is included.
It’s not guaranteed to slim your neck but it’s 100% guaranteed to make you look like an idiot trying.
You can finally let anyone driving behind you know your controversial feelings about dead people.
This dog costume is definitely fulfilling someone’s very specific fantasies. Maybe yours?
Tooth whitener or cosmic weapon for your mouth? You decide.
Afraid your grandpa is a pussy? Get him this 2 disc self defense set and toughen him up a little.
For those stressful days when you get home from work and all you want to do is sit in front of the TV and crack open a nice cold can of steak.
Finger food spoons are perfect for when the rest of your hand goes on vacation.
A suction cup leash so your cat stays in that god damn bathtub whether it likes it or not.
This shirt lights up when it detects wifi AND when other people are getting as far away from you as possible.
We are told this is the best (and only) equestrian yoga book on Amazon.
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