Donald Trump announced earlier this week that he would no longer be attending Fox News’ GOP debate on Thursday evening, citing his disapproval of Megyn Kelly as the moderator. While many viewers will be disappointed, nobody is more disappointed than Jeb Bush, who had prepared a list of vicious disses to unleash on Trump, which he’ll no longer be able to use. Luckily for us, the Florida governor tweeted out a photo of his handwritten list.
Full text below:
Trump Disses For Debate
Something about “Donald Trump Card” … you can do it, Jeb
Donald trump is a jerk (think I can probably say this again)
Donald Trump is about as Christian as a Jew!
Donald Trump is just a big girl (Note: might alienate female voters?)
Donald Trump is just a big baby (Note: might alienate baby voters?)
He’s a bigger quack than Donald DUCK! (Make sure Disney won’t sue)
A Trump in the hand is worth less than two Bushes (does that make sense?)
You can keep on blowing your Trump-et if you’re feeling am-Bushed (save for end?)
You know, I’m excited about next month. We’re calling it JEB-uary. (maybe follow with “can I just get one more JEB in?”)
| If he says… | Then I say… |
| You’re so boring | Well is this boring??” and do a backflip (learn to do backflip) OR I flash my ring finger so that it looks like my middle finger but isn’t |
| 9/11 is your brother’s fault | America better have 911 on speed dial if you win!” (too weak? |
| We can’t have another Bush in the White House | The only bush you should worry about is my wife’s!” (too weak? |
| “Jeborah” | There’s nothing wrong with being a woman, they represent half the voting population. BOOM. |
