Milf Teacher

In an attempt to increase interest in mathematics, high school teacher Edward Nibbetz decided it was time for a change in his teaching methods. Nibbetz, who has been a teacher for 21 years, decided he needed to take drastic measures to increase classroom engagement.

“I wanted something that would not only get them interested but keep them interested,” said Nibbetz. “So I thought what better way than a catchy slogan?” With this in mind, Nibbetz set off to create the greatest math related slogan in the short, unspectacular history of math related slogans.

“The kids these days are always talking about ‘getting turnt’ and being ‘lit’ and things like that,” said Nibbetz as he threw up what he believed were gang signs. “I figured the internet would be a great place to find some dope lingo to use.”

Nibbetz fatefully wandered into a reddit thread on the ‘Curves and Angles’ subreddit, where he saw what he believed would be his saving grace. “I just saw it and immediately knew I had a keeper,” said Nibbetz. “It’s just crazy to think that other math teachers have created slogans in the past to solve this problem. I mean how great is ‘Man, I Love Fractions?’ Or ‘MILF’ for short. My students are going to love it!”

After printing off dozens of “Man, I Love Fractions” motivational posters with pictures of students sitting in class with “MILF” sprawled across the bottom, Nibbetz hung them around his classroom as well as throughout the halls of his high school. From there, he waited for the interest to grow until the excitement boiled over and his students flooded into his classroom ready to learn.

“The posters definitely made the students more interested in math,” said Vince Lane, the school’s principal. “It was strange that all the students who enrolled were mostly freshmen males, though.” The first day of class brought with it the pervasive odor of Axe body spray and unwashed jeans. The entirely male class vocalized their excitement for the coming lesson.

“As soon I saw this class had MILFs in it, I was hooked,” said one student. “I hope they’re hot.”

“I warmed myself up in the bathroom,” added another student. “I’m so pumped!”

“Well, this is it,” said Nibbetz walking into class. “I’m ready to share my love of math with these young men. MILF!” As Nibbetz entered the classroom, the students began chanting “MILF! MILF!” in a display of their willingness to learn.

The class emptied 55 minutes later in a flood of disappointment and sexual frustration. “I just got blue balled by a math class!” screamed one student as he punched a locker.

“Yeah, turns out MILF doesn’t stand for ‘Man, I Love Fractions,’” said Nibbetz. “Apparently, it has to do with moms…and coitus. That explains the number of young men who signed up—and why they were all sweaty when I walked in.” Nibbetz then walked towards the window of his room and looked out seemingly in deep contemplation.

“Well, no big deal,” said Nibbetz. “I’m tenured so they can’t fire me. I’m just gonna go get trashed in the teacher’s lounge.”

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