We’ve all read those hot Cosmo tips on how to step up our sex game, driving our partners absolutely wild with desire in the process! But what if we could drive our partners insane before we even make it to the bedroom? There’s no better way to inflict physical discomfort and emotional confusion simultaneously than withholding sex as a weapon, because where’s the fun in just saying you aren’t in the mood? Here are our top 10 ways to drive your partner absolutely crazy with sexual desire, or, at least, lead them to question whether or not they’re actually losing their minds.
1. Break out the oil for a couple’s massage.
Get out the warming massage oil and take turns working out the kinks in those stiff muscles, letting your partner focus on you first. When it’s time to return the favor, let that euphoric feeling linger a little longer by pretending to be asleep. When your partner attempts to shove you awake, moan a sleepy “I love you babe,” because who could get mad at that?
2. Role play.
You can create the sexual experience of your dreams simply by role playing your deepest fantasies. A “doctor/patient” scenario is popular among many couples, but the “psychiatrist/patient” scenario could be just the thing to bring you closer than ever—uncomfortably close, even! After a 50-minute session spent delving into his “mommy issues,” neither of you will want to touch each other, possibly ever again.
3. Turn your dreams into reality.
Create a relaxed atmosphere with some low lighting, scented candles, and soft music, then share your steamiest sex dreams with one another. When it’s your turn, turn the lights on and announce, “I had a dream last week that I was pregnant and I wanna wait until I get my period to have sex again just to make sure I’m actually not.” Taking sex from dream to nightmare is a sure way to avoid it!
4. Always have time for a quickie.
Following some intense foreplay, there’s no better quick excuse to avoid actually fucking your partner than “I just got a headache.” For an updated twist, throw in a “…and I think it’s hurting my penis too.” There’s no better way to turn sexual frustration into actual frustration. Hope you have a fire extinguisher handy, cuz she’s gonna be burnin’ up!
5. Wait for that “O” face.