Trump’s Sexual Assault Comments Likely Inexcusable Because He’s Not A Varsity Athlete
October 12, 2016
“Trump’s comments are absolutely, quite simply, despicable. He’s neither fast nor strong enough to get away with such disgusting slander.”
Mike Pence Vows To Hunt Down and Exterminate All Remaining Jedi If Trump Wins Election
October 2, 2016
“I just finished constructing my first lightsaber - red, of course - and I've completed all of my training," beamed Pence.
35 Tweets That Sum Up The Trash Fire That Was The First Presidential Debate
September 27, 2016
If you blacked out after the first 30 minutes of the debate from sheer anger, allow us to catch you up on how it all went down:
Confusingly High Number Of American Voters Support Pathological Liar / Reality TV Star For President Of United States
August 24, 2016
Inexplicably, tens of millions of registered American voters believe that of every possible person, the most logical choice to head many aspects of government is a flat-footed, slippery-kneed, half-man-half-turkey who has not only never worked in government, but whose poor business decisions have led his companies to bankruptcy on four separate occasions.
Donald Trump Claims New Moustache Is A “Tribute To Charlie Chaplin” And Nothing More
August 17, 2016
For years, Trump's defining physical characteristics have been small hands and the animal on his head, but you can add facial hair to the list.
Cthulhu Officially Endorses Donald Trump, “He Has What It Takes To Destroy The World”
August 10, 2016
Donald Trump has gained endorsements like Scott Baio and Hulk Hogan, but none of them can hold a candle to his latest endorsement, Cthulhu.
Hitler Falls Behind Donald Trump In List Of People You Want To Go Back In Time And Kill
April 18, 2016
Move over Hitler, there’s a new target for hypothetical time-travel assassination and he’s more The Apprentice than Der Fuhrer!