10 Bands That Have Entered My Dreams And Choked Me While I Masturbated, But One Is A Lie

10 Bands That Have Entered My Dreams And Choked Me While I Masturbated, But One Is A Lie

9 of the following bands have made their way into my mind and choked me while I masturbated. But one of these is a bold-faced lie!
Love Trumps Hate, Unless This Guatemalan Doesn’t Hurry The Fuck Up With My Acai Bowl

Love Trumps Hate, Unless This Guatemalan Doesn’t Hurry The Fuck Up With My Acai Bowl

It's imperative that as a nation divided, we - is... is he putting whole milk greek yogurt on MY acai bowl? I distinctly ordered low-fat.
Woman Begins 12th Year Of Watching The Bachelorette Ironically

Woman Begins 12th Year Of Watching The Bachelorette Ironically

Hudson, a 26-year-old living in the Washington, D.C. metro area, has been “barely getting through" the show for 12 years.
High School Senior Boasts Highest Blood Alcohol Level In His Class

High School Senior Boasts Highest Blood Alcohol Level In His Class

“We’re all capable of great things. Greatness can be found anywhere, even at the bottom of a bottle. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
All-Female Screenings Of Wonder Woman Causes Outrage, Boners

All-Female Screenings Of Wonder Woman Causes Outrage, Boners

News of women-only screenings of Wonder Woman has left many men reeling in the aftermath, causing outrage and boners across the country.