White Girl Trying To Figure Out Which Tan Friend Will Be Fasting For Ramadan
June 6, 2017
“I have a lot of ‘ethnic’ looking friends so I’m not sure who is celebrating, and I don’t know if this is like, a sad holiday or a happy one…"
6 Tips for Growing Your Hair So Long People Will Think You Were Homeschooled
June 4, 2017
Pamper yourself a little, and people will start asking if you won the National Spelling Bee as a child.
Donald Trump Celebrates Pride Month By Pardoning One Queer Kid From His Administration’s Homophobia
June 3, 2017
“I was thinking about those sweet little turkeys, so many murdered. Sad. But then one is saved! I wanted to recreate that but for the gays."
White House Press Release Written On Back of Nuclear Codes
June 2, 2017
“We have in no way jeopardized Americans,” President Trump stated in another press release written in crayon on the back of an Arby’s napkin.
Guy Wonders If Watching “The Handjob’s Tale” Makes Him Part Of The Problem
May 31, 2017
"The society in the show is everything I oppose, but then I started watching, and I gotta be real: those maid outfits make me wanna nut.”
Melania Still Working Up To Starting Her First 100 Days
May 30, 2017
Sources say she's made a substantial effort to get "within even a 100-mile radius of her husband," but things seem to keep popping up.
Ghost of Roger Ailes Seen Haunting Women’s Restroom At Fox News Headquarters
May 28, 2017
Several female interns have reported seeing the spirit of the recently deceased media mogul skulking around the first-floor restroom.