Local Man Disgusted That Woman As Funny As Dane Cook Is Now As Successful As Dane Cook
April 22, 2017
Tim Spiegel has angrily announced his disgust that Amy Schumer, who is as talented as Dane Cook, is now also as successful as Dane Cook.
Man In Basement Apartment With Beaded Curtain Never Surprised To Hear About Any Wiretap Allegations
April 20, 2017
"And now with these so-called 'therapy dogs' allowed in all the stores and whatnot?! It's biological warfare 101, dude."
ACLU Officially Declares Juggalos The Last Group It’s Okay To Discriminate Against
April 19, 2017
"We want people to know that they won’t face any lawsuits from us if they refuse to bake a wedding cake with a giant hatchetman on it."
Freelance Writing Gig Earns Woman Extra Cash And Rape Threats!
April 18, 2017
"The extra income is really helpful right now, and I’ve received literally dozens of new rape and death threats since I started!"
Why I’m Okay With My Dull, Domestic Life And Billionaire Husband
April 17, 2017
Night after night it’s the same: caviar and champagne on our silk sheets. Boring, I know. But I'm learning to love life in our mansion!
Trump Says He Would Have Risen “From That Cave In Two Days, Tops” In Easter Speech
April 16, 2017
The President seemed unimpressed with Christ on every level, going so far as to say His crucifixion was due to His own inability to lead.
Man With Confederate Flag On Truck Hardly Had Time To Put Sleeves On Today
April 15, 2017
"For some reason he must have completely forgotten to put those sleeves on... must have a lot to do today."