Texting your ex is a waste of your fleeting life, so why not text your existentialist instead? An ex will make you pine for love; an existentialist reminds you that love isn’t real, and neither is God. An ex will break your heart; an existentialist will break your sense of reality and sanity. Suffering is inevitable either way, so why let a human hurt you when you can let the weight of consciousness devastate you instead?
Thanks to Texts From Your Existentialist for our new found existential dread. Continue to ease the war in your mind with Anthony Jeselnik tweets for people who don’t have souls, and people who made terrible decisions and have pictures to prove it.