He Will Need Space Sometimes
When Love vanished, Andrew drove off looking for her. After four hours went by, I wondered how it was going, so I called him. He didn’t answer. I figured he was just focused on finding our dog, but then, after 12 hours went by, I knew something was up.
I called him again, and he answered, thankfully. He told me that he actually just needed some space. I guess losing Love was really bumming him out, which totally made sense. You have to give your husband some leeway if you want the relationship to work! We all grieve in our own ways. I told him to take all the time he needed.
Marriage Is A Long Game
In the moment, whatever disagreement you’re having might seem incredibly high stakes. But when you think about that little phrase “til death do us part,” you realize you have all the time in the world. These things that are bothering you now will seem like nothing in a few months.
That’s what happened when Andrew went out looking for the dog. At first, I was really angry he was gone for so long. But then, after more time passed and he still hadn’t come back, I realized — wow, what a petty thing to get mad about. 12 hours is nothing! Imagine if it was three months?!
The Only Person You Can Control Is Yourself
After not hearing from him for nearly four months, I decided that the only person I could control was myself. I couldn’t make Andrew get over the loss of our dog, but I could work on my own mental health. I decided to take a six-week intensive yoga class. But when I went to pay for it, my card was declined.
I called the bank, and they told me that my account had been closed. When I asked who had closed it, they said Andrew. And that was his choice! I guess I’d have to look in the mirror and see what I had done to create this situation. Marriage, after all, is all about taking responsibility for your own actions and learning to compromise!
You Still Have More To Learn About Your Partner
Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, you will learn something totally new about your partner. In my case, I realized I had so much more to discover about my husband. I found out SO many new things about Andrew!
First of all, his name wasn’t actually Andrew. It was Rick! And I wasn’t even his first wife! Wow, the things you learn when you fully give yourself over to someone, completely trusting them! The police keep calling me with updates. It’s been pretty eye-opening!
In conclusion, I really really really really really really wish I had known all of these things before I got married. I can’t go back, but I can share what I’ve learned with you. I hope you’ll open your heart (and your eyes!) when you get married. Best of luck to all the young newlyweds out there. Oh, and if you see anyone fitting the police description, definitely let me know! I would love to ask Rick where my $55,000 dollars went!
