What’s Giving Neil DeGrasse Tyson A Boner: Europa
If Saturnial moons aren’t quite your speed, then maybe try out a little Europa. Europa is one of the Galilean satellites. What’s a Galilean, you ask? Why, a Galilean is anything if you’ve got enough money. All seriousness aside, this moon was discovered by Galileo Galilei when he was heavy into his math rock phase.
It is suspected of possessing a large amount of water, an atmosphere of oxygen, and some even predict that there could be alien life on this old rock. Neil DeGrasse Tyson gets a little “rock-like” too when he conjures up imagery of this moon to present to fellow science types.
Amber Rayne
You don’t have to look up to the sky to see some of the more impressive stars in our galaxy. In fact, some of the hottest stars are the ones closest to Earth. One such star is Amber Rayne, who is suspected of being made up of over 4.5*1027 atoms. Just like Europa, Amber Rayne is mostly made up of oxygen, but has large traces of carbon and hydrogen, as well as magnesium and semen. Needless to say, the surfaces of Amber Rayne have been explored thoroughly, but manned missions to this star can get very costly for NASA. Be that as it may, this class B porn star is a cause of many Neil DeGrasse Tyson erections.
Cygnus X-1
In case you didn’t know, Cygnus X-1 is probably a black hole in the middle of our own Milky Way galaxy. I know you were probably thinking it was some kind of David Bowie guitar, but it’s not — it’s a run-of-the-mill black hole in the middle of the gosh-darn galaxy. In fact, your whole life you’ve been orbiting around this mystery monster and you didn’t even know it. Well you do now, buddy, so why don’t you show some damn respect?
Start by knowing that it shoots out a great deal of X-rays, which is how it was initially discovered. For Neil DeGrasse Tyson, these X-rays are X-rated because the opportunity to study such an extravagant space oddity is making him aroused.
YGKOW G1
I know you’ve heard of people discovering planets outside of the solar system, and you may have discovered a few of your own. Everybody’s doing it, so why shouldn’t you? Just know that there’s always some bastard out there to one-up you. Just when you thought you were a big shot discovering a planet outside the solar system, some overachiever comes around and discovers one outside of the galaxy. Great.
While YGKOW G1 sounds like someone yelling in Russian, it’s actually the designation of a supposed planet that is predicted to exist. While observing the “Twin Quasars,” scientists were observing some gravitational lensing when they noticed some further micro-lensing. They decided that it was a planet that caused this micro-lensing and voila, a planet outside of the galaxy was discovered. Supposedly. But if you think that hypothetical planets outside of the galaxy don’t give Neil DeGrasse Tyson a boner, you’d better check your pulse.
51 Pegasi b
This extra-solar planet might not sound like such a big deal, but how does it taste? We may never know. One thing we can be certain of is that this planet is getting Neil DeGrasse Tyson all worked up. Why, you ask? Is it because it has a declination of +20ยฐ 46โฒ 08โณ? No, that’s not it. Maybe because its stellar flux is 480 โ? Think again. The one reason why this planet is getting NGT rock hard? Why, because it is a Hot Jupiter Planet, of course.
