How To Pick The Perfect Pumpkin

How To Pick The Perfect Pumpkin

Before you can pick the Perfect Pumpkin, you must know what the Perfect Pumpkin is. To know what it is, you must first know what it is not. The Perfect Pumpkin is Not: If the pumpkin you have picked has these qualities, it is probably not a pumpkin. Most likely,…

Become A Winner With Buddhism!

Become A Winner With Buddhism!

Are you a loser? Unemployed, broke, can’t remember the last time you had sex? I was the biggest loser I knew until last Wednesday, when I made an amazing discovery: Buddhism! Buddhism transformed me from a “lazy bum who never gets laid” into a “temporarily celibate spiritualist who’s taken a…

Popcorn Corner: “The Book of Life”

Popcorn Corner: “The Book of Life”

“The Book of Life” is an animated fantasy directed by Jorge Gutierrez, currently playing at the Carmike Cinema 5. Longtime readers will recall that this is my first column. What little I’d heard about “The Book of Life” was promising enough, as both critics and audiences alike seemed to agree…

Top Six Words In This Headline

Top Six Words In This Headline

Senior Runt Of The Web linguist Art Matt regales us with a ranking of words.

32 Moments That Could Happen Only In New York City

32 Moments That Could Happen Only In New York City

For the children of people of means, New York is the world’s greatest city for snorting coke in an urban environment. While interesting people are mostly a remnant of New York’s storied past, a handful of steadfast holdovers remain. Thanks to these beautiful few, we have this gallery of moments…

Australia: Not Even Once

Australia: Not Even Once

If you’ve spent some time on the internet, you might have heard a vicious rumor that Australia is a gigantic penal colony where every organism has evolved into a sophisticated killing machine. We did a little of research and it turns out these rumors are 100% accurate. Let’s take a…