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Animals Doing Human Things Deer

All humans know that coffee is a tasty and energizing thought-beverage that stimulates the mind and leads to great ideas. Which negligent soul allowed it to get into the hands of this hideous beast? How long do we have before it starts to plot the end of the world, or at least take up more than one space in line at Starbucks, and have a name that no barista on Earth could possibly pronounce, or spell on the side of a cup??!