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Be entirely unhelpful in any given situation. A good bridesmaid is there to lend a hand to the bride on her special day — helping make last minute seating changes, dealing with the crying baby, all of these things require an inherently helpful person to take some of the pressure off the woman of the hour.
By constantly proving to be more of a nuisance than a help, any bride worth her salt won’t want you anywhere near her ceremony. Of course you’re gonna offer to help her move, I mean, she’s one of your closest friends! Just be sure to not actually help at all once you show up, three hours late, to her old apartment.