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Implement a “buffer” friend. You want to be friends with the bride, just not the best friend. By falling just short of reaching BFF status, you will successfully guarantee avoiding the responsibility of delivering a funny yet endearing speech whilst stuffed into a bodysuit of Spanx armor.
Find a well-spoken friend in your group, and constantly talk her up. I mean, how fucking cute is she?! She took this pic in Puerto Rico too! She travels! Don’t you like to travel? You guys should TOTALLY go on vacation together.