Top 10 Holidays to Drunkenly Ruin

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halloween

Trick-or-treat: this year your treat is a grown man crying, naked, and curled in a ball. You see, sometimes I get emotional when I drink a growler of pumpkin beer, and doubly so when I chase it down with a carton of Whoppers. Why don't you take your kids somewhere else? Oh this is your house. Well I should probably warn you about the shitter then.