You may be wondering “Who is Jack Handey” and “Is he an infomercial product?” Lucky for you, we have absolutely no intention of answering your questions. We do however want to celebrate the fine work of the distinguished Saturday Night Live writer with this gallery of the thirty-four funniest Jack Handey quotes:

Thanks to Jack Handey for being a comedic genius and coming up with these. And if you love Jack Handey quotes, check out Runt of the Web's other posts on funny quotes and the funniest Louis CK quotes!

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