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Leave a pot of water boiling on the stove! This little trick at least gives off the appearance that you're planning on eating real food, which is not the behavior of a woman who is currently laying under the cushions themselves because the blanket fell behind the couch. What kind of adult person would subsist solely on Skinny Pop and M&Ms, Megan? Do you really think I don't know how to boil, like, spinach?