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Ups

Nothing says "For at least a minimal period of time, my skin was in contact with the sun" like leaving a note for the UPS guy. Leave it taped to the door all day, so Megan thinks you've been in and out, or at least feels like she's off the hook for staging another intervention with your therapist. BONUS: The UPS guy won't be able to say "Wow! It's great that you're always home" again.