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Make Friends Coffee Date Alcohol

Do you see this shit? Do you see these old-ass ladies whose ungrateful, never-visiting grandkids have forced them to continue forming social connections well into their golden years at the risk of slipping into isolated dementia? If you’ve reached this point, don’t even pretend you’re trying to meet somewhere in public, just have them come over and keep taking pulls from that flask you keep behind that plant by the TV until they either leave or you just fall asleep. Fuck this.