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3. The Best Friend’s Boyfriend

If he’s your best friend’s boyfriend, he’s probably going to want to shut this whole thing down, but your move is to point out Jessica’s flaws. Like the fact that she’s way too close to her family. He’ll never be number one in her eyes since she has such a healthy relationship with her father. You’ve seen them hug on several occasions and it didn't even seem forced. Plus, Jessica never experimented with anorexia like you did, so she’s probably going to get fat the second she hits 30. Oh, sorry, are we still pretending that didn’t happen? Get over it, Susan, you were never fooling anyone.