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Dangle String Tolerate Kid

In order to merely tolerate your friend’s kid, it’s important to understand how it thinks. Your friend’s kid requires constant stimulation, otherwise it will destroy everything in it's path, including but not limited to: furniture, potted plants, and its parents' ability to even think for a goddamn minute. You can keep your distance by simply distracting it, using anything from a piece of string to a laser pointer! Use any means necessary to avoid giving it the actual love and attention it craves.