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Gloves

If you already happen to be making a CVS run, but only remember it’s Valentine’s Day after you’ve already gotten in line, these gloves are pretty much the only option in arms reach. Normally you might check out the holiday aisle, but you only have 14% battery life on your phone, and you gotta get home and charge. Romance is great, but pragmatism is what he’ll have to goddamn settle for.