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It's a well known fact that you're not allowed to say SHIT to pregnant women about their appearance. They can't even SEE their legs, let alone shave them! Unfortunately, you would have had to put this one in the works a few months ago, but you can just tell everyone you're pregnant and hope you find a baby to steal in the next six months. BONUS: Your actual pregnant friends will be super jealous of how skinny you are in August when you're "five months along."