Rickon Stark
You probably forgot all fucking about Rickon Stark. Youngest Stark/Feral Child, Rickon has been OOO for three entire seasons, and we’re shocked the kid who plays Tommen isn’t playing him too by now. Having been on the LAM with Osha (who would have made this list if we didn’t love Tonks so much), he is unceremoniously returned to Hannibal Lecter/Emperor Palpetine/Ramsay Bolton. Apparently the producers locked him and Bran in a basement until they could finish up puberty, but we’re not optimistic about his fate.
Another Fucking Greyjoy, Specifically Euron, Apparently…I Had To Google It.
I have to keep myself from groaning aloud every time we return to the fucking Iron Islands. I actively root for their deaths. If it weren’t for Yara, I would probably fast forward through these scenes. And now there’s another fucking one of them. We don’t know much about him yet but if we had to guess, we’d wager his favorite pastimes include soaking himself in the ocean, soaking himself in the rain, and dying/never dying, as the stupid fucking saying goes.
Gendry. Fucking Gendry.
You may remember this Baratheon bastard from season three, at which point he got into a rowboat, and is still fucking rowing, I guess. Despite ostensibly being a hugely important character (he’s now the only human left with Baratheon blood), he’s still off on a gap year adventure / sailing regatta right now. He’s either chilling with the Drowned God, being confused for Podrick because they look exactly the fucking same, or rowing his way to complete obsolescence.
That’s Fucking Mace Tyrell
Living ball of Playdoh Mace Tyrell is father to Margaeeaaearaey and Loras. He spends his days sitting on the small council and being emasculated by his mother. He could legitimately be confused with a fucking decorative curtain, so don’t feel bad if you feel like you’ve never seen this fucker before. Has poor decision making skills. Is rich.
