Do You Have A Case Of The Mondays, Or Is It Just Liver Cancer?

It’s the start of yet another work week, and you’re feeling super sluggish with zero zest, leaving you to wonder: do you have a serious case of the Mondays, or is your liver cancer just back? Take this quiz to find out!

1. How tired did you feel when you woke up this morning?

   1. I wasn’t tired—I just didn’t want to go to work!
   2. I could neither dress nor feed myself.
   3. Kind of sluggish.

2. If you could be anywhere right now, it would be:

   1. Lying on a beach with a hot babe.
   2. Asleep in bed.
   3. Wherever will stop the agonizing pain inside my body.

3. How much blood did you pee today?

   1. How much fills a toilet bowl?
   2. Um, none.
   3. I didn’t check.

4. On a scale of 1-10, how severe is your jaundice?

   1. Wait, is 1 a lot or a little?
   2. Whatever is the most jaundiced.
   3. 4.

5. Right now, your stomach feels:

   1. Craving coffee.
   2. Hungry.
   3. Swollen with bile.

6. In terms of patience, you feel you:

   1. Not great—I’m feeling kind of short-tempered.
   2. I can’t breathe and I’m scared.
   3. Have a lot today.

7. How do you feel about paper work?

   1. It blows, but I’ll do it.
   2. I kind of like it— it’s weirdly relaxing.
   3. I just threw up blood on my desk. What was the question?

BAD NEWS!

We hate to break it to you, but you’ve got a serious case of the Mondays! :( The good news is we’ve got the cure—just get through today, and you’ll be one day closer to the weekend. Oh also, you’re cancer-free.

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GOOD NEWS!

You don’t have a case of the Mondays OR liver cancer. You’re just generally not that healthy nor that good an employee. Also, you probably want to get that jaundice checked out.

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YOU’RE IN THE CLEAR! IT’S JUST CANCER OF THE LIVER!

You don’t have a case of the Mondays OR liver cancer. You’re just generally not that healthy nor that good an employee. Also, you probably want to get that jaundice checked out.

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Feel like our diagnosis doesn’t quite fit? In that case, you probably have both a case of the Mondays AND cancer of the liver. Wow! That means you can almost definitely call in sick today. You’re so lucky!