We know what you’re thinking: yeah, there are starving children like 15 blocks away, but did the salad really need that much dressing? No, it didn’t, and you shouldn’t be ashamed for letting trivial matters cast such a long shadow over your life (Gwyneth Paltrow being alive notwithstanding). Today, we take a tour of the most egregious offenses that will totes ruin your day:

I Can’t Even

Torn Paper

OMG Did You Even Go To Prep School?!?!?!

Misspelled Starbucks

Queue My God Damn Linkin Park CDs!!!!

Tipped Over Yogurt

This Freakin’ Face

Spencer Pratt

What’s The Point Of Owning A Castle If You Can’t Check In On 4Square?

Thick Castle Walls

Getting stuck in line to go to internment camp — THE WORST!!!


Torch The Car

Ruin Your Day With A Moved Seat

Stir My Own Oatmeal? Oh I’m Sorry Do I Look Like A Commoner To You?

Oatmeal Stirring

Good Thing They Didn’t Say Anything About Instagram!

In Case Of Fire

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