White House Forces Sean Spicer To Wear Shock Collar During Press Briefings
June 17, 2017
"When I get angry or inappropriate with the press, the collar delivers 4500 volts directly to my neck. Questions?”
Donald Trump Celebrates Pride Month By Pardoning One Queer Kid From His Administration’s Homophobia
June 3, 2017
“I was thinking about those sweet little turkeys, so many murdered. Sad. But then one is saved! I wanted to recreate that but for the gays."
White House Press Release Written On Back of Nuclear Codes
June 2, 2017
“We have in no way jeopardized Americans,” President Trump stated in another press release written in crayon on the back of an Arby’s napkin.
66 Hilarious Covfefe Tweets That Still Don’t Explain Anything
May 31, 2017
Thankfully we have Twitter to give us countless covfefe tweets gussing what this newest Trumpism truly means.
Melania Still Working Up To Starting Her First 100 Days
May 30, 2017
Sources say she's made a substantial effort to get "within even a 100-mile radius of her husband," but things seem to keep popping up.
Trump Returns From First Presidential Tour With Souvenirs, New Wife
May 26, 2017
“She will be living at the White House, right? My taxes won’t be paying to guard some penthouse in Dubrovnik, will they?”
Trump Turns Attention To Lannisters
May 21, 2017
"We’re done with Syria. Syria’s not so bad. I’ve always liked Syria. Syria is terrific. We need to focus on King’s Landing."