Kapernick Kneeling

It is an insult to our great country when athletes decide to use our national anthem as a time for protest. They need to focus on what’s really important, and that’s our planet. That’s why the only thing they should be doing during the national anthem is taking out their books, protractors, and so forth, and getting to work.

The average global temperature has risen by a degree in the past 100 years. We can’t afford to waste an able body. And what body is more able than that of a professional athlete?

I say, wanna protest? Protest our planet slowly turning into a self-destructing ball of fire and ice.

Let’s do the math, shall we? There are 32 NFL teams, each with 53 players on its roster. That’s 1,696 able-bodied young men, many of whom are currently wasting the average one minute, fifty-seven seconds it takes to sing the national anthem kneeling instead of climate-changing. What happens if we put this workforce of 1,696 to the task of researching technology to prevent climate change instead?!?

Add in the coaches, referees, and training staffs to this and you might as well have your own goddamn laboratory. This isn’t even considering college or high school football rosters, which increases our number far more than one hundred fold. At that point, you can forget about it — climate change would be fixed by 2020.

Colin Kapernick is already taking a knee for the anthem. What’s stopping him from bringing his test tube out to the field with him, leaning down, and grabbing a couple of soil samples while he’s out there? Is he just too caught up in his own agenda to give a shit about finding a solution to the most imminent threat to humanity as we know it? Shameful.

If even some of the dumber players were to spend that time googling “how do I recycle” that might be helpful in a small way.

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