6: Hand Carved Knife
There’s nothing that says “I respect you as a person and a father, but I also have no idea how you spend your time” quite like a hand carved knife. What would he use it for you ask? What wouldn’t he use it for? Oh, shit, it’s $85? Never mind, no knife.
7: Detroit Tigers Hat
Which sport does your dad like? Is it all of them? You remember him saying something about the Redskins, but that was years ago and their name is pretty racist. Tigers are your favorite jungle cat, and Detroit is so depressing it’s almost chic, so you’ll get him something Detroit Tiger themed. Maybe a hat.
8: Basketball Mug
While we’re on the sports, maybe he’d like this basketball themed mug. At the very least it won’t take up too much space in the attic when he hides it up there without using it even once.
9: Motorized Tie Rack
This gift combines two of his favorite things: mechanical contraptions and ties. Wait does he actually like ties, or is he just required to wear them everyday because he lives in a society that doesn’t value creativity in men?
10: Fancy Shaving Kit
Men need to shave, right? So this thing should be perfect. Except what is that brush for? Ugh, whatever. This present is literally so boring that your dad will forget about it, and the fact that you gave him such a thoughtless Christmas present, before New Year’s rolls around.