Have grumpy, old conservatives shut down your nearest Women’s Clinic? Does your monthly prescription suddenly require you to travel great lengths just to hopefully (*hopefully!*) get a knowledgeable man person to agree to prescribe you the birth control pills that help regulate your period and/or keep you from getting pregnant? Sounds like someone may be hitting the open road for some adventures to the clinic in the next state! Pass the time with these fun car games!
1. “I’m Going On A Picnic”
This is a classic game you may remember from your childhood. The memorization skills required to retain the silly things you and your friends are bringing on an imaginary picnic will help distract you from the fact that you have to drive 7 goddamn hours to receive reproductive care. Fun!
2. “I Spy”
You’ll likely be staring out the window for hours upon hours driving through some painfully boring small towns. Why not make the most of it by taking in the surroundings of those excessively long, flat stretches of land with a little “I Spy?” At the very least, it may keep you from dwelling too long on why your own ovaries are being regulated by people who don’t have any.
3. “Punch Buggy, No Punch Backs!”
With the doors of your local women’s clinic closed, you’ll probably already feel like you’re in a time warp having to drive to another state to receive medical care. Why not make an adventure of it and relive the days when cute little Volkswagen bugs ran the road?
4. “Would You Rather?”
Get to know your fellow passengers by presenting them with outrageous scenarios to get the conversation going. For example: Would you rather get your birth control prescription from your former healthcare provider which was fifteen minutes away, or drive over three state lines to a Planned Parenthood you’ve never been to before? Bonus Tip: It doesn’t actually matter what you answer, it won’t be taken into account in any way.
5. “I’m Going On A Bear Hunt”
A silly song with wacky hand-clapping rhythms can help lighten the mood and distract you from the dystopian reality you’re living in. As an added bonus, when you inevitably have to drive your kids four hours each way to public school in two years, this one can serve as a nice little tribute to Betsy DeVos!
6. “License Plates”
An old favorite, use this as an opportunity to not only name license plates, but keep track of whether or not you can get a first trimester abortion in any of those states. This one might be considerably more difficult than it used to be, and if it’s not hard enough, add in bonuses for states where it’s legal for business to discriminate against gay people, too. Fun!