CABS ARE HERE!!! Or at least some Jersey Shore quotes are here. You’ll want to get your gym-tanning-laundry on (GTL, to you experts), beat up the beat, be a meatball, or get traumatized by Ron. They may have told you to “never fall in love at the Jersey Shore” but we’re still in love WITH the Jersey Shore:

If you feel tan enough to be a Guido, keep up the culture with Italian memes that will make you start talking with your hands and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt quotes to read while trapped in a bunker.

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