Twix, Kit Kats, and Reese’s are beloved Halloween staples, but how about all those candies you didn’t touch until you got really desperate? Here are the top ten buzz kills you only eat when you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel.
We all pulled a Lucky Charms with these and handpicked the pink ones out. But even then, we were closing our eyes and wishing they were Swedish Fish.
Chocolate-covered caramel is the PB&J of the candy world: a simple, yet killer combo that only an idiot could fuck up. Enter Hershey’s, the idiots who fucked it up.
More like Suxlets, am I right?
Don’t even get me started on the flavored ones.
This is the candy equivalent of Sandy showing up in a leather jacket at the end of Grease. No matter how much chocolate you slap on, Raisinets, you’re still a wholesome lunch snack. Not fooling anyone.
There’s nothing smart about handing these out on Halloween, unless you’re trying to systematically destroy the dreams of America’s youth.
As if Smarties weren’t bad enough, someone had to make an even less flavorful disk of sugar. Pass the razorblade apple, please.
Am I wearing a barrel as a dress while standing in a bread line or something? I wasn’t around for the Great Depression, but this candy sure makes me feel like I was.
Half of this name is an accurate description, and it ain’t “good.”
Can someone explain how wax gets a free pass as candy? What’s next? Thumb tacks? Napalm? How about a noose, because I’d rather hang myself.
11 of 11