Trump Announces Big Plans For “Earth Day” Finale

Trump Announces Big Plans For “Earth Day” Finale

"What do trees do for us? Nothing. It's time we remind the Earth that it works for us. And if it doesn't like it, it can go take a hike."
White Woman Won’t Stop Referring To Her Dog As Her Husband

White Woman Won’t Stop Referring To Her Dog As Her Husband

“I’m not actually married to my dog! I mean, I wish. That would be crazy. Is it even legal? Do you know?” says Doyle.
George R. R. Martin Shaves Off Beard, Finds Missing Last Chapter Of “Winds Of Winter”

George R. R. Martin Shaves Off Beard, Finds Missing Last Chapter Of “Winds Of Winter”

He had searched everywhere from under his hat to his other pair of jeans - only to finally find them tucked under his ample facial hair.
Paul Ryan Moving On To Killing Poor People Individually

Paul Ryan Moving On To Killing Poor People Individually

Ryan stated that he has no problem scouring each and every Walmart, Waffle House, and backyard bonfire and strangling every last person there.
52 People Who Had The Metal Turds They Call Cars Roasted On Reddit

52 People Who Had The Metal Turds They Call Cars Roasted On Reddit

Many people consider their car to be an extension of their personality, which doesn't speak highly of these Redditors.