Trump Returns From First Presidential Tour With Souvenirs, New Wife
May 26, 2017
“She will be living at the White House, right? My taxes won’t be paying to guard some penthouse in Dubrovnik, will they?”
New FBI Director Pladimir Vutin Loves Sunglasses and Very Concealing Hats
May 25, 2017
The new nominee was seen next to President Trump during the announcement wearing a "very concealing" hat and sunglasses.
Divorce Win! This Little Girl’s Parents And Step-Parents Have An Orgy Every Saturday
May 24, 2017
"Her mom and I weren't meant to be life partners, but that doesn't mean I can't anally fist her once a week for the sake of our baby girl."
HELP! All The Kitties In My Cat Cafe Are Trying To Unionize!
May 23, 2017
It started slowly - one day I’ve got “I Canz Cheeseburger?” posters on the wall, and the next it’s “I Canz Livable Wage?”
Chechen Gay Concentration Camp’s Terrible Interior Design Clearly Conceived By Straight Man
May 22, 2017
Drab tin shower stalls were crying out for a tasteful pastel coating - literally, I heard the crying coming from inside.
Trump Turns Attention To Lannisters
May 21, 2017
"We’re done with Syria. Syria’s not so bad. I’ve always liked Syria. Syria is terrific. We need to focus on King’s Landing."
Man Whose Favorite Move Is The “Tennessee Jackhammer” Unsure How Lesbians Have Sex
May 20, 2017
"All the women I know go wild when I take them to pound town for five or six minutes. So what the hell are these chicks even doing!"