Medical Miracle! This Woman Lost 150 Pounds And Discovered It Was Actually Her Crappy Personality That Everyone Hated
April 24, 2017
“I assumed people were body-shaming me because I was big. Turns out they were personality-shaming me because I’m a shit person!”
When I Said I Was Bi, I Meant Bipolar
April 23, 2017
I thought you were talking about my rapid cycling between manic and depressive states of being. How wrong I was.
Local Man Disgusted That Woman As Funny As Dane Cook Is Now As Successful As Dane Cook
April 22, 2017
Tim Spiegel has angrily announced his disgust that Amy Schumer, who is as talented as Dane Cook, is now also as successful as Dane Cook.
Man In Basement Apartment With Beaded Curtain Never Surprised To Hear About Any Wiretap Allegations
April 20, 2017
"And now with these so-called 'therapy dogs' allowed in all the stores and whatnot?! It's biological warfare 101, dude."
ACLU Officially Declares Juggalos The Last Group It’s Okay To Discriminate Against
April 19, 2017
"We want people to know that they won’t face any lawsuits from us if they refuse to bake a wedding cake with a giant hatchetman on it."
Freelance Writing Gig Earns Woman Extra Cash And Rape Threats!
April 18, 2017
"The extra income is really helpful right now, and I’ve received literally dozens of new rape and death threats since I started!"
Why I’m Okay With My Dull, Domestic Life And Billionaire Husband
April 17, 2017
Night after night it’s the same: caviar and champagne on our silk sheets. Boring, I know. But I'm learning to love life in our mansion!