Couple Trying To Set Up Wedding Registry Accidentally End Up On Sex Offender Registry
August 18, 2017
“Shelly's dreamed about this her whole life, so I'll be damned if I let a court-ordered chemical castration get in the way of our happiness.”
Quaint Tiny Home Makes For Awesome Giant Fire
August 16, 2017
"Holy shit," Vimislicki stated. "I mean, just like, wow. You really should have seen it."
Man Has Gross Fetish For Very Available Women
August 14, 2017
“I’ll say it: I like to have sex with women who like me. If that makes me ‘weird’ or ‘different’ then so be it. I love myself.”
‘This Is What Democracy Looks Like,’ Shouts Protester In Loin Cloth And Jester Hat
August 12, 2017
"I followed Phish around one summer, too, so I know about building a community," the jester hat-wearing activist added.
Girlfriend Can Hardly Get Boyfriend To Adopt Cat Let Alone Kill Self
August 11, 2017
“I mean it’s tragic and awful, but I can hardly get him to adopt a cat with me let alone take the drastic step to end his life,” she said.
Aspiring Actress Cast as Busty Warrior Queen in Coworker’s Sex Dream
August 9, 2017
After months of failed auditions, the part-time waitress/actress landed the starring role in her co-worker Todd’s recurring sex dream.
School Shooter Only Kid Eager To Go Back To School
August 7, 2017
"The level of detail in his school maps is incredible. He says it's for a D&D game. I can believe it – that kid is a huge goober.”