Zoo Declines To Name Newborn Panda, Doesn’t Want To Get “Too Attached”
February 20, 2017
“Do you know how hard it is to keep these animals alive? Slaughterhouses have a better track record than we do."
Florida Grandma Reports No New Developments In Her Neighbor’s Marital Problems
February 18, 2017
The 72-year-old retired teacher has been dedicatedly following this story since it first broke two months ago.
Quiet Loner At Laser Tag Arena Clearly Doing Dry Run For Something Horrific
February 17, 2017
"He comes in, slaps forty bucks on the table and says 'I'm here to make a statement.' So right there, not great."
Adderall-Addicted Child Totally Aces D.A.R.E. Course
February 16, 2017
The bright young lad, who has not yet experienced the living hell of withdrawal, passed all the pop-quizzes with flying colors.
10 Fun Tips For Making Your Hate Crime Go Viral
February 15, 2017
Filming a hate crime is definitely en vogue these days, but how do you get yours noticed in the sea of bile known as the Internet?
Wow! This Skilled Balloon Artist Has Never Seen A Naked Lady!
February 14, 2017
"I know society portrays balloon artists as wild sex machines fighting ladies off with sticks, but that hasn’t quite happened for me yet."
I Am More Than Just A Receptacle For Twizzlers Pull ’n Peel. I Am Also A Man.
February 13, 2017
I am not a God. I know of the small organized groups that are painting me as a savior. But I am just a man.