27 Struggles That Only An Old-School Gamer Will Understand
January 2, 2017
Kids these days don’t know how good they have it with their auto-saves and their photo-realistic graphics.
This Will Probably Be The Year You Kill Yourself
January 1, 2017
“When will this life ever go exactly according to my plan?!? Should I just throw myself off the yacht already?!"
8 New Year’s Resolutions That My Probation Officer Strongly Recommends I Adhere To
December 31, 2016
I have a feeling that 2017 is going to be my best year for keeping resolutions yet, thanks to the watchful eye of the state of New York!
Vegans Asking People To Eat Christmas Trees Instead Of Throwing Them Away
December 29, 2016
"This isn't about taste - it's about saving the world, and feeling self-righteous while doing it."
Fox News Reminds Viewers That Santa Was A White Supremacist
December 28, 2016
“Santa is what he is, and what he is is a white supremacist. There is no room for debate.”
8 Simple Lifehacks For Merely Tolerating Your Friend’s Kid
December 24, 2016
Because she can't make you love it, no matter how many times it tells you it loves you.
Pile Of Charred Corpses On Highway Makes 3 Hour Traffic Jam Worth The Wait
December 22, 2016
"Lucky for us, we saw two dead bodies and a loose arm, so three hours of stewing in traffic wasn't all for naught."