The Friendzone, Because You’re So Ugly That Even Friendship Is A Stretch

“Your teeth are stained from years of exposure to Mountain Dew.” “I smelled your despair before I saw you.” “I’m moving to Gaza.” “You randomly appeared outside my house one day.” These are things you’ve probably heard from potential suitors you barely know whose mild friendly acquaintance with yourself demands — nay, necessitates! — a lifelong commitment of love. Or at minimum, at least a reach around. Today, we delve into the depths of the friendzone, because sometimes people are too polite to tell you right off the bat that you’re an unlovable monster:

Enjoy the intrigue and despair of the friendzone? Then check out Runt of the Web’s other posts on the friendzone in action and moments that could only happen in New York City!

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Alec is the co-founder of the PBH Network and is on the road to court-mandated recovery after being arrested for defecating in James Franco's koi pond.

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