Quiz: What Kind Of Earthling Spokesperson For Extraterrestrial Life On Planet Earth Are You?

Grey Aliens

With everyone talking to our extraterrestrial cousins, we dare to ask “What kind of earthling spokesperson for extraterrestrial life on planet earth are you?”

How many times have you mysteriously been compelled to sculpt Devil’s Mountain from a plate of Mashed Potatoes?
1. 1. Only once, when larking around with the guys on the set of ‘Ghostbusters’.
2. 2. Once, I threw food around on the tour bus. Crazy times!
3. 3. I do insist on mashed potatoes with every meal. But no fancy shapes.
4. 4. Never. Xenu doesn’t like me to eat carbs.
Have You Ever Had An Unusual Experience In The Woods?
1. 1. Have you seen ‘The Great Outdoors’?
2. 2. My buddies used to sit, smoke blunts by the fire, and watch the stars.
3. 3. Yes. Every fall, my uncle would take me bow hunting. He would molest me.
4. 4. Nature is a spiritual place for me. However, it’s where science and religion meet that I am happiest.
Have Birds Ever Flown Directly Into Your Closed Windows In Order To Commit Suicide?
1. 1. I do recall a time, on the set of ‘Driving Miss Daisy’, when a bird flew into my car windscreen.
2. 2. That’s whack! I’ve seen that happen in films. Never happened to me though.
3. 3. Unfortunately my current residence is absent of windows.
4. 4. Yes. Avian suicide has been known to occur at my many homes around the planet.
Have You Ever Experienced A Loss Of Time, Or A Frequent Sense Of Déjà vu?
1. 1. I have experienced a strong sense of Déjà vu. On the set of ‘Blues Brothers 2000’. It was like I’d done it all before… but this time it was just awful.
2. 2. Life on tour is crazy. You can start drinking in one town and wake up not knowing how you arrived at the next.
3. 3. That sounds like a French term. I would be more comfortable if you spoke in American.
4. 4. Xenu says that time is a loop. Some chosen souls can simultaneously access several points of that loop at their own volition.
How Do You Explain The Presence Of Crop Circles?
1. 1. It’s not my place to tell people what to think. However, my experience on the set of “Coneheads” really opened my eyes to extraterrestrial geometry.
2. 2. Weird stuff’s happening. I don’t think we can claim to know all the reasons.
3. 3. I used to like corn, but can no longer chew because of absent dentures.
4. 4. Xenu likes to move in mysterious ways.
Have You Ever Woken Up And Noticed Inexplicable Bruises Or Marks On Your Body?
1. 1. When filming ‘Spies Like Us’ I employed method-acting techniques. Those military training scenes certainly left some bruises!
2. 2. I’m a rock star. What do YOU think?
3. 3. Indeed I have. Though many of my scars are psychological.
4. 4. No. My body, though diminutive in frame, is perfect and unsullied.
Have You Ever Received Visits From A Small ‘Bug-Eyed’ Creature?
1. 1. On the set of ‘My Girl’ Macaulay and I would play a lot of Ping-Pong.
2. 2. Sure, I’ve been around people who smoked Crystal Meth, but I avoid them when possible.
3. 3. I don’t have visitation rights for my child. Not until I pay support.
4. 4. I wouldn’t call him ‘small’. Xenu's about my height.
Has A Cone Of Light Ever Lifted You Into The Sky?
1. 1. No. Though, I did learn about light rigging on the set of ‘Dragnet’.
2. 2. Figuratively, yes. At Showtime, when that spotlight hits, and the crowd sings along, I'm always lifted.
3. 3. Yes, when aliens abducted me, one night in Lithia Springs. GA.
4. 4. Yes. It is a nightly occurrence. Absolutely.
Have You Ever Received An Anal Probe?
1. 1. Once. On the set of 'Crossroads' it was a mistake not to be repeated.
2. 2. Nothing against it, but that’s not for me. Though once, I did get close to a guy once.
3. 3. The manner in which my uncle touched me led me to believe he was looking for something.
4. 4. Absolutely not. Why would you ask that? Do I look like someone who’d allow that?
Are You The Representative Of Extraterrestrial Life On Planet Earth?
1. 1. I have not been invited to the post, but I would be honored if our visitors appointed me.
2. No. I’m a believer, but nothing more.
3. 3. No. I believe my movements are monitored. And I want the voices to stop. But I represent no one.
4. 4. Yes. Yes I Am. They gave me the job right after I starred in the Hollywood film ‘Cocktail’