Secretly Gay Hate Group

“Hahahahahaha! Like, what if I secretly wanted to bone Nick?,” cried the largest man at the rally, looking over at Nick, then looking towards the front, then looking back over at Nick because he wasn’t exactly sure if Nick had been looking at him, or if not.

Nick does this funny thing with his eyes where you’re not quite sure if he’s making eye contact with you. But you can still tell he’s listening. He’s that kind of guy.

“Hahaha, lol OMG!,” exclaimed a heavyset fellow with a thick mustache. “Like if I was totally, desperately gay for Eric?!?,” and he continued to laugh heartily, while nervously glancing around the group.

The heavyset man’s eyes then fell on Eric, who was powerfully hammering stakes into the ground. Although the stakes were there to hold up a large banner reading “GOD HATES FAGS,” it couldn’t help but feel, to the heavy mustachioed gentleman, that Eric was pounding the stakes directly into his heart — each strike piercing like a dagger into a dark, dank abyss, doomed to remain unfulfilled.

“This joke is TOO FUNNY!,” blurted a small but aggressive man, aggressively.

“Like if I had a secret desire to strip all of you guys naked, cover you from head to toe in coconut oil, sensually rub my hands all over your bodies, whisper sweet nothings in your ears, and make passionate love to you all night?!,” he added with a boisterous laugh, the men around him now giggling and blushing.

“Oh…,” the small man continued softly as a single tear dripped from his left eye, a sight obscured by the quick placement of a white hood over his face. “That’d really be something.”

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