Some philosophers believe that we have multiple souls within us fighting to be dominant. We don’t know about that, but we’re sure we want to conquer life, sleep all day, lose weight, and eat endless pizza buffets all at the same time. Here are forty-five of the fickle lies we force down our own throats without ever really believing:

Thanks to Tumblr, Buzzfeed, and Twitter for some of the lies celebrated in this gallery. For more galleries like this, check out the most me IRL posts of all time and relatable tweets that are the totality of our existence!

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