When I was a kid, prizes and awards actually meant something. Not every Tom, Dick and Harry (don’t even get me started about the Sally’s) just got handed a prize for showing up. Like when I lost 7th grade class president to “unopposed.” Did it make me feel nearly valueless as a human being? Yes. Do I wish I’d gotten some handout bitch-ass trophy to make my little feelings stop hurting? HELL. NO. In today’s society, people think they deserve an award for just participating, and it’s creating a generation of spoiled, entitled, unrealistic sissies. In my opinion, there’s absolutely no clearer indication of this than the ultimate celebration of our “every one gets a ribbon” culture: the Nobel Prizes.

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