That’s Beric Fucking Dondarrion
Beric Dondarrion is resident heartthrob of the Brotherhood Without Banners. We haven’t seen him since season three, and yet as of now he’s the most magical fucking human in all the land because he’s been brought back to life eight times, making the score Jesus: 1, Beric: 8. Bad at fighting, good at dying. Apparently his eye didn’t heal quite as well as that time his entire fucking head got cut off. For some reason Melisandre thought his repeated resurrection was underwhelming compared to Stannis’ ability to scowl at the ocean, and left him alone. She’s also all like “I have no idea if it’s possible to bring Jon Snow back from the dead ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” despite having seen it happen to Beric Dondarrion. Guess memory fades after 3 seasons/300 years.
This Is Fucking Lollys Stokeworth
Lollys is a useless character/human being who is married to Bronn. Don’t waste your brainpower trying to figure out why she is at all relevant to this story.
Here’s Fucking Meera Reed
Ahh, Meera. The Ann Veal of Westeros. For at least three seasons every time she got screen time I asked aloud, “who/her/egg?” This picture is the most she has smiled, ever. Enjoys killing rabbits, hates levity. She hangs out with Bran and pouts at the snow and is not about that mutual female empowerment lifestyle. We’re almost positive she’s going to end up being a Targaryen/Jon Snow’s long lost twin sister though, which is basically the only theory that explains why she’s still fucking kicking around. That happy little family reunion is going to have even more self-pity and even less smiling than mine.
That’s Fucking Thoros Of Fucking Myr
Not to be confused with “myrrh,” another thing you know nothing about. Thoros was basically a hack until he magically became magical and found a bunch of magical friends. Now his entire job description is “wait for your friend Beric to challenge some asshole to a duel, wait for him to die, bring him back to life.” Despite the literally nine thousand people who are more important than Beric that have died, the man crush is strong with this one, and he has tried to resuscitate approximately zero other people besides his BFF. Sorry Rob Stark. Shoulda picked better friends.
