Ashley Madison Hack

Ashley Madison, an online dating service for adulterers, has been hacked by a group threatening to release users’ personal information if the site isn’t taken down. To prove its seriousness, the hacker group, dubbed The Impact Team, has already released a preliminary list of users’ information—among them Amanda Biderman, wife of Ashley Madison’s CEO Noel Biderman.

Though she regrets that her profile was made public, Ms. Biderman stands by her decision to cheat. During an interview with CBC Toronto, she said, “After we had kids, Noel really let himself go. He got fatter. Balder. I mean, look at him. You think I want to have sex with THAT for the rest of my life? No thanks.”

The leak included not only her credit card information, but details from her profile, including sexual fantasies. Among them were “Fucking someone with a full head of hair,” “Fucking someone who I don’t have to explain women’s suffrage to,” “Fucking someone that’s not human garbage,” and “Role play where you pretend to be my husband and I choke you.”

“It’s my fault for using a personal credit card,” she said, “but it’s also Noel’s fault for being such a huge failure. His inability to do anything correctly has made me even less attracted to him, which I thought was impossible.”

Ms. Biderman joined Ashley Madison a year after delivering their first child. “My first lover was a bangin’ half-Brazilian 24-year-old with a tight ass and a penchant for light BDSM. It was wow. Just wow. Totally saved my marriage. Yep.”

When asked why she stays with her husband, she says preserving a stable family life for their kids is the number one priority. However, she plans to continue her extramarital affairs on other dating sites.

“Noel’s too much of a pussy to divorce me anyways,” she said.

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