Recent Syracuse University graduate Shay Riese assured her family on Saturday that she had “really taken the time to pack thoughtfully this year” while loading sixteen trash bags into the family sedan.
Riese, a Political Science major who graduated Cum Laude, found space for her remaining pair of flip-flops in two separate Hefty bags. “She spent ten minutes explaining how rolling her clothes is a real space saver,” said Riese’s father, Jerry. “But then I saw her sweep an entire unboxed deck of cards on top of her clothes and tie up the bag.”
Riese, who has a reputation for being a last minute packer, vowed that this year she would show her family how much she’s matured by methodically and carefully cramming her belongings into a roll of Ultra-Husky Hefty can liners.
In addition to the trash bags, Riese has divided her clothing and possessions into a complex system of plastic CVS bags, a suitcase with a missing wheel, and three Container Store boxes that are missing lids.
“You don’t need lids to stack them,” reported Riese.
Riese, who minored in Middle Eastern Studies and is about to embark on a prestigious internship with the U.S. State Department, insists that there’s a reason her sweaters are in a bag labeled ‘Bathroom.’
“That bag was initially for toiletries, but when a bottle of conditioner exploded, I figured I’d dump it out and use it for clothes.” Riese insists she turned the bag inside-out first.
As the family embarks on the seven-hour drive home, Jerry Riese seems optimistic about his daughter’s efforts. “When we picked her up freshman year, she was just holding a combination of loose papers and T-shirts in her hands, so believe it or not, this is a real improvement.”
At press time, Riese couldn’t find her diploma, but was ‘sure it’s around here somewhere.’