5. Join Teach For America
In the event that humans find your unemotional responses to their happy teeth baring or sad face water unsettling, tell them you are a member of an organization called Teach For America. They are so proud of this institution that they are willing to accept even the most unlikeable human if he/she is a part of this group. We have yet to discover why.
6. Become A Peace Corps Volunteer
If Teach For America doesn’t work you are going to take more a more drastic approach towards gaining human acceptance. You will have to join the Peace Corps. Humans in the Peace Corps are revered by their respective tribes even though they fail to follow even rudimentary hygienic procedures. From what we can deduce, humans volunteer with the Peace Corps so they can visit exotic places on Earth to take photographs with the local children. They exchange these photographs for social rewards upon reintegration into their own society.
7. Become a Backpacker
If even the Peace Corps fails you will have to leave mainstream human society and find companions among the planet’s roving bands of nomadic outsiders. These humans carry all their possessions on their backs like beasts of burden. They are often from a place called Australia, and while they will not self identify as alcoholics, their behavior will suggest otherwise. These humans will often be too impaired to notice if your antenna comes untucked from your human-hair hat.
8. Create a Food Blog
While we cannot condone contributing to the growing human trend of “Food Blogging,” we understand the likelihood you will become aware of this phenomena during your time on Earth. If you are truly incapable of integrating into human society, it will become tempting to write a Food Blog, but proceed with caution. This subgroup of humans are not representative of their species as a whole, but instead the socially inept castoffs. They are the humans who cannot grasp that other humans don’t care about how the food blogger spent his/her day and is only here for the the cashew stir-fry recipe the title of the article referred to.
If you found these tips on fooling the humans helpful here are 14 Life Hacks to will help you prove, beyond a doubt, that you are a human just like them. We mean us.