Which Forgotten Condiment Are You?

You’re certain you add flavor to virtually any situation, yet time and time again, you are ignored and left to sit for months on end, chilling in the exact same location in the refrigerator door. You’ve known it’s true for a while now — you are an overlooked condiment. The question is, which one? Take this quiz and find out!

1. You’re getting dressed to go out on a Friday night. You:

   1. Pop in your best monocle.
   2. Decide this is the night you’re going to finally pull off overalls.
   3. Hope you can find some pants to go with your sweet new wallet chain.
   4. Liebe das Leben Freitag Nacht!

2. Which Golden Girl do you think was best in bed?

   1. Blanche
   2. Sophia
   3. Dorothy
   4. Rose

3. The main reason you smell weird is:

   1. You have the meat sweats.
   2. You recently smoked chewing tobacco.
   3. You bought Axe Body spray. On purpose.
   4. You forgot to brush your teeth last decade.

4. Your last relationship didn’t work out because:

   1. You wouldn’t shut up about Dr. Who.
   2. You were too into scatological porn.
   3. Wife and dog missing. Reward for dog LOL
   4. You kept insisting on playing Apples to Apples at dinner time.

5. Your favorite way to clear a room is:

   1. Talking about a dream you had.
   2. Smelling like actual garbage.
   3. Bringing up a news story you read about at church.
   4. Opening a jar of pickled pigs feet.

6. Your dream job is:

   1. EDM DJ
   2. Female Body Inspector
   3. Actress!!!! :)
   4. Burt from Mary Poppins

7. Your favorite subreddit is about:

   1. Pocket squares
   2. The Paleo Diet
   3. The classic film Das Boat
   4. Taylor Swift’s armpit

That low calorie ranch you bought on accident.

You’re trying too hard and everyone knows it. You think you “go with everything,” but in actuality you taste like bad breath and have a tendency to form a thick film.

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Sauerkraut.

You are a German condiment made from pickled cabbage.

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Worcestershire sauce.

No one knows how to spell your name or what to do with you, but people keep you around because you seem interesting and British.

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Cousin Jim’s homemade BBQ sauce.

You were a Christmas gift, which confused everyone, mostly because you came in a used plastic bottle. Your label is a piece of masking tape, and you’ve become chunky in recent months.

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