1 of 78
Because then they'd have to rename the Stranger Things girl.
2 of 78
Better than doing the Electric Slide with a hobo.
3 of 78
But not always at the same time.
4 of 78
No but they can hear the Snap, Crackle, and Pop of Rice Krispies!
5 of 78
Because unlike the rest of you, it feels shame.
6 of 78
Kellogg's Frosted Tumor Flakes: "Theeeey're Malignant!"
7 of 78
Carrot Riiiiiiick!
8 of 78
Occasionally we insert tampons into our butts for fun, does that count?
10 of 78
That would explain the copy of Mein Kampf Mr. Sprinkles keeps next to the litter box.
11 of 78
Oedipus 2: Google Boogaloo.
12 of 78
Two great tastes that taste great together!
13 of 78
Proof that there is such a thing as too much weed.
14 of 78
If that were true, wouldn't they be red?
15 of 78
Well my dildo is a cucumber so there!
16 of 78
If your poop was green and full of worms would you tell anyone the truth?
17 of 78
We're not sure but it looks like there's a quiz you can take to find out.
18 of 78
And when there were four footprints it was me carrying you while riding a bitchin' Brontosaurus!
19 of 78
Most people don't realize that Jurassic Park was based on a true story!
20 of 78
First I accidentally doused him in gasoline, then I accidentally flicked my lighter...
21 of 78
When is Hollywood going to get on that gender-swapped Weird Science reboot?
22 of 78
Yes but much like suppositories they're more effective when taken anally.
23 of 78
As if one needs a specific reason to consume the flesh of the young.
24 of 78
Justin Roiland, is that you?
25 of 78
On the contrary, it would be ruder not to!
26 of 78
Because they lose a lot of water weight when they oui oui.
27 of 78
Beg a friend to kill you before you turn.
28 of 78
Because when girls pass gas it's called a 'sparkle toot' and it smells like vanilla and glitter.
30 of 78
That would explain the copy of Mein Kampf that Mister Sprinkles keeps near the ... oh shit we already did that joke, never mind.
31 of 78
It's all in how you phrase it!
32 of 78
Try telling that to the girl from Jurassic Park.
33 of 78
The answers are: Not enough, too many, enough to reach from here to the sun five times, 21.5, and 596.
34 of 78
The answers: Yes, yes, yes, maybe, no, depends on the state, yes, yes but it tastes sooo good, see above, hell no!
35 of 78
And bubbles doesn't like it one bit.
36 of 78
Yes, but even he can't keep it from still being frozen in the middle.
38 of 78
See a bear or a dinosaur, meh, whatever. See a lion? Holy shit, hit the gas!
40 of 78
But they make terrible dogs.
41 of 78
One poop, two poop, red poop, blue poop!
42 of 78
Good call Google, good call.
43 of 78
Not really, at least it would have explained why my skin was made of clay.
44 of 78
Stop fat-shaming rhinos Google!
45 of 78
That used to drive my 9th Grade English teacher octopus.
46 of 78
*sigh* Unfortunately, yes.
47 of 78
Millennials suck.
48 of 78
As long as he's on the top rack it's fine.
49 of 78
Ewww, gross! Cinnamon?
50 of 78
Well there's 39,100,000 people the world would be better without.
51 of 78
So there's this thing called a condom...
52 of 78
You're tired because you can't stop farting.
53 of 78
It's probably something you're feeding them.
54 of 78
What do you call a gamecube that someone has been pissing in? A Nintendo Wii.
55 of 78
But his fists are!
56 of 78
The strawberries or the nipples?
57 of 78
You can do one or the other but you can't do both.
58 of 78
Yeah, well I hope you get taken out to a nice Italian dinner by a Tyrannosaurus.
59 of 78
The answer to all of these is "You would be dead."
61 of 78
They've stolen our jobs AND our hearts.
62 of 78
Processed meat and curdled milk? THAT'S true love!
65 of 78
Have you ever tried to butter an uncooked sock?
66 of 78
Jesus IS a mischievous badger.
67 of 78
My daughter's first jock strap.
68 of 78
Yeah but it would probably be pistachio, yuck!
69 of 78
Wait, so your thumbs aren't normally on your hands?
71 of 78
So are mine, and by see through I mean "not there."
72 of 78
It depends, was it Raphael or Donatello?
73 of 78
Didn't she do the theme song for Shaft?
74 of 78
Sure it does, pick up a D20 and some Star Trek DVDs and that baby will be back in no time!
75 of 78
Motherfucker doesn't even have any hair!
76 of 78
Yeah, well they're pretty scared of you too.
77 of 78
He said he's running a bit late so your best bet is to start with a salad.
